I've returned

Well, it seems that, as I'm only able to get to the library, and the internet maybe once a week, I have not been able to blog very much. But so much has happened since my last one. I had a friend show up on FB and help me find my son's dead beat dad. And a week ago, my daughter moved out to Baytown Texas with a long time friend of her's who is like a mother to her. I'm ok with this, except that I miss my grandchildren very much. I have practically raised the oldest one myself and it's like losing a part of yourself when you don't see them every day, after being used to waking up to her beautiful face everyday for 20 month's . But I have to let the rope go sometimes, huh.
Well I find that my daughter finally let the dead beat dad loose after he put his hands on her again and head butted her, kicked a fan over which fell and hit my 8 month old granddaughter on the head at 3am, and had to go get them and their stuff once again. But I pray that she finally opened her eyes. She seems to have. But then today I'm checking up on my face book, and see that now she has hooked up with some other boy that I have never heard of, but she says they went to school together and she knew him 12 years ago..
When do they turn loose and stop running to guys at every turn. That is like jumping from the frying pan intot he fire. But she doesn't see it that way. She just tells me that I need to butt out. That's easier said than done with babies involved. What is a mother to do. Is there anyone out there who can give me any advice how to really let go and stop worrying so much.......... help

Different day, same sh**

Well, guess life don't change the way we want it to. Living with a difficult teenager is one thing, but living with a difficult 23 year old is challanging. Both mentally and physically. My daughter has two children of her own. One is 19 months and one is 8 months. She has them back to back, which for her was trying in itself because she had so much trouble having the first one. She developed pre-eclampsia in her 7th month, and was in and out of the hosptial twice a week until her 8th month. she gave birth 3 weeks early by c-section, due to this problem, and I had to take alot of time off work to be with her. Her baby daddy was in prison for a warrant they served on him for breaking into a home. I was glad he was there because to me he is nothing but a piece of sh**.   My daughter don't see it that way because of course, she is in love. But if she were in love she wouldn't have cheated on him while he was gone, and with more than 3 boys.  Well, I put his butt in jail again for trying to choke her when she was 5 months pregnant with his child, after he got out. and he went back to jail for 10 months Yahhhhhooooo.. But that still didn't keep her from cheating on him then taking him back when he got out. But this time, she was pregnant again with another guy that knew the first one.... The same thing happened with the second pregnancy with being in and out of the hospital the last 2 months of it, and then having to have a c-section 3 weeks early because her blood pressure went off the charts.... but what really got me was that she had called the second baby daddy and invited him to be there, and of course being me, I was trying to be polite, to keep the peace for her...
more later......

Looking for dead beat dad.

I grew up in Port Acres Texas, back when you could walk the streets at night and not worry about having drive by shootings, or getting kidnapped, or just run down. The worse we worried bout was getting home before dark or suffering dad's wrath if we called after dark and asked mom to come pick us up. Oh boy, would you get the butt chewing of  your life. I had this really big crush on a guy named Kyle Massey, who lived next to Dick Dowling Elememtary School. I met him through my dad's friend and he had started going to our school. Of course I was the tom boy, not fat at all, but not the skinny girl guys looked for and not the beautiful girl either. I was normal NOT UGLY! (laughing), and I could definately rock a bikini with curves, good ones. It always seemed that he was going after my friends who hung out with me. I had a car so he would ask me to take him with me and my friends and then he was all over them. I kept saying to myself " what is it about me that he just don't like? Well one day I guess he couldn't find any other girls to hang out with and we ended up going to a friend of his who had a house boat out on the bayou. We started hanging out and then I  met another very sweet guy over the summer and fell in love, or what I thought was love. This guys name was Troy Patterson from Nederland. He was in a band so was out late and I wasnt' old enought to do the club thing. We dated for almost a year, but never in a million years would I have thought he was also dating another girl. We went out one night and he told me to call him in two days cause he would be busy with the boys. Well when I called two days later his mom informed me that he had gotten married the day before and moved to Corporus Christy. The girl was pregnant. He could have and should have told me. By this time I was old enough to drink and went out and got blitzed. I ran into two of mybest friends Tommy, Debbie, Chris Fowler( my first true love, but that's another story) and Kyle was with them. Tommy talked me into going back to his trailor cause I was crying non stop and getting drunck, and the whole way there Kyle was feeding me beers one after the other and beer gets me drunk faster than hard liquor. I begged Tommy and Debbie to keep an eye on my cause Kyle was all over me and even telling him NO didn't do any good. Needless those two went and did their thing, I passed out on the couch and woke up in a bed naked with Kyle beside me. I was terrified and just jumped up grabbed clothes and got dressed as fast as I could and walked home the 5 miles.. Crying the whole time. I didn't think anything about it after that until  a month later. My periods were like clock work for me. Every 28 days to the day I would start. But not this time. I just KNEW i was pregnant. I called my mom at work not knowing how to tell her, she had just gone through a divorce from my dad after 35 years of marriage and I didn't want to put more on her. She actually was not mad, upset understandably, but not mad. Kyle came over a few times and talked about putting a tattoo on his arm with the babies name on it. He made some shitty comment that if I hadn't gotten pregnant we would have probably gotten together. Go figure..  Well I moved with my brother and sister-n-law for a couple of months and telling my brother was the hardist thing I have ever had to do.. He's a preacher and was talking to me about my options. Adoption. I wanted to keep my baby. I already loved it. When I was 5-6 monts along I moved back with my mom. Kyle never came around or even called. I tried to call when I went into labor but didn't get to him. I called when I got home and he came by to see our son. He was so happy and for the first two and a half months came over every day and called every evening. Said he even wanted his name on the birth certif.  Then I didn't see hiim for 2 weeks or hear from him. My baby brother was going off to bootcamp for the army and he and Tommy and two other friends went to Kyles house and asked if he wanted to go shoot pool. Of course it was a set up to get him to the house and scare the crap out of him. I remember hearing my brother arguing with him. Saw a pool stick fly and hit the ground by our front door and heard him say that if he didn't help me take care of our son, when he got out of boot camp if he had to hunt Kyle down he would regret it. Needless to say, Kyle came into the house for about 10 min. and once my brother and friends left so did Kyle. He has never seen our so since or called. Our son is now 27 years old. He wonders what his dad looks like, I found out that he had another son by another girl 4 months after my son was born. He now lives in Beaumont Texas somewhere with his wife, the other girl that he married a few years back, and he has never tried to get into contact with my son, never paid child support, even though I gave the attorney general his ss# and date of birth and everything, they say they could never find him.Guess they didn't look good enough so my son and I never had help from his dad. That is what I call a dead beat dad.... I just wish for my son, that this SOB, would atlest acknowledge his FIRST son the way he has his second....... Even after the way he did me that night, I have forgiven him for our son. I just wish he would step up and take accountability. I hate it when men think that they can go out and just screw women without protection, and I blame the women too.. they have contraception for them to,, but then the men just find out they are going to be dads and just run off, or have nothing to do with the girls anymore, or expect their parents to take care of their responsibilities. It's shitty.. I have a 23 year old daughter who has two kids by two different dads, both who claimed they loved her and wanted to take care of her and the babies, but then ran off or got thrown in jail and just turn out to be crap... Well, the oldest granddaughter's dad gets all the time with her, cause my daughter is still dating him, he is good with her don't get me wrong, he wants to be in his daughters life, but he don't have a job, lives off his mom and he's 24. He has had 3 jobs since I have konw him in the last 4 years, and quit, it was the same place hired him three times, just walked out cause he couldn't handle the crap.. Boy there is alot of crap out there we have to deal with if we are going to work in this world. We just have to bite our tounge's.. I know I have.... But he don't help with ANYTHING!!! His mom had bout a total of about 12 boxes of diapers and the baby is 19 months old.! She gets wic to help with the food and milk, my husband and I buy all the clothes, diapers, wipes, medicine, and are helping raise these two beautiful baby girls.. with help from friends and my 79 year old mom who gives us $30 a month for diapers religiously... and yet my daughter gives him free run with the baby.. I SAY IF YOU WANT THE PRIVILIAGE OF BEING WITH YOUR KIDS YOU HAVE TO SUPPORT THEM FINANCIALLY OR YOU JUST DON'T GET THE PRIVILIAGE.... am I wrong in that thinking or what?    Well, if anyone out there reading this knows of Kyle Massey, please respond to my blog and let me know.. Im not worried about any kind of relatioinship with that man,, I just want my son to meet his father and get some of his questions answered. The man owes him that much......